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\viewkind4\uc1\pard\lang1033\f0\fs40\tab\tab\tab\b REMARKABLE EXPERIENCES,\b0  by Roger Fritz\par
\par
\tab\tab This is What I Have Learned in 51 Years On Planet Earth.  \tab The most important stuff I have learned has been from out-of-\tab body experiences.  I've had four, all when I was in my twenties.\par
\tab\tab I had the first one, the first time I got stoned on pot.  It wasn't the first time I'd smoked.  You have to smoke three or four times before you first get stoned.  The out-of-body experience started when I noticed that my body was bigger than my visible body.  My body looked the same from the outside, but from the inside I could feel that it was about six inches bigger than it looked.  My body continued to get bigger, and the speed at which it got bigger accelerated.  I could feel the point at which I became bigger than the earth, and I continued to get bigger.  The earth shrank inside me, down towards a point centered in my belly.  Then there was a sudden intense thrill as the sun pierced my skin and headed down towards that point in my belly.  I continued to get bigger.  There was a similar though less intense thrilling sensation as the first star pierced my skin.  \par
\tab\tab Then for a long time there were exquisite sensations as stars pierced my skin from all directions and flowed down towards that point in my belly.  After awhile this stopped, and the whole Milky Way galaxy was in my belly, shrinking.  Then there was a long time when galaxies pierced my skin, though the sensation was fuzzy and not as intense as the individual stars.  \par
\tab Eventually all the galaxies in the universe were inside me, and condensed into a fuzzy ball of light in my belly.  It got smaller and smaller until it became a point of light.  Then it became so small that I lost track of it.  So I turned my attention outward, and I discovered that I was in bliss. \par
\tab\tab I felt a marvelous joy, that was unlike any joy I had ever felt before in that it had no cause.  And since it had no cause it could never end.  \par
\tab\tab It took three or four days after this experience for the bliss to fade, or rather, for me to lose contact with it.  What I learned from this experience is that there is such a thing as bliss.  And that it's joy without cause, and therefore without end.\par
\par
\tab\tab The second time I had an out-of-body experience was when I was in college. It was the first time I smoked hashish.  (By the \tab way, these weren't drug experiences.  Drugs triggered them, but they weren't experiences that were repeated, though I smoked hashish lots of other times.)  \par
\tab\tab I was sitting on a couch in the room of a friend of mine.  I had an odd feeling that I was rushing through space at a high speed, though the room looked normal.  Then I noticed that I could see a blue glow around the bodies of the other people in the room, about three or four inches thick.  \par
\tab\tab Then something happened that I can only describe in metaphors.  It was an experience literally beyond words.  It was as though I were an airplane, and I were zooming along through a cloud, surrounded by fog.  And it was as though I suddenly burst out of the cloud into light, and found that I wasn't flying along at a level, but was flying straight up.  \par
\tab\tab In that light, I knew things without thinking.  I didn't have to deduce and reason to reach knowledge.  Knowing was readily available.  \par
\tab\tab I came back from that leap into the light, and I carried back three pieces of information.  These are the only things that I actually know for sure in this life.  Everything else I "know" is a theory, a deduction, something that might be true, but something that might not be true.  But these three things I absolutely know.  These things are true.  Everything else, we'll see.\par
\tab\tab The first thing I know is that we're all immortal.  By "we" I mean people.  I don't know about animals and rocks and trees.  But all us people will live forever.  Not in these bodies, of course.  Bodies die.  But whoever it is that we really are inside these bodies, that entity lives forever.\par
\tab\tab The second thing I know is that we all make it home.  Again, by "we" I mean people.  By home I mean our original source, God, bliss.  Probably the best way to say it is bliss, because that's something I have experience of.  I don't know how long it'll take us to get there, or when we'll get there, but since we're immortal, it doesn't really matter.  We have forever.  \par
\tab\tab The third thing I know is that we're all in bliss, all of us, all the time, though most of us aren't aware of it.  Even someone in the middle of immense suffering is still in bliss at the same time.  Odd, but true.  \par
\tab\tab Everything else I think about life either is something I have reasoned out from these three axioms, or at least is something that doesn't conflict with these three axioms. \par
\tab\tab I came back from this out-of-body experience, and like the first one, the afterglow lasted for days.  I felt constantly in bliss.  Then it faded, and I was back into normal consciousness.  \par
\par
\tab\tab Let's see.  To pick up my narrative about What I've Learned In My Life.  The third out-of-body experience I had was when I was in college.  I went to the initiation of a friend of mine, a woman named Susan Sheehan.  Her initiation was at the house of a women named Millie Prendergast who lived in Boston.  Because \par
\tab I hadn't yet been initiated myself I wasn't allowed to come to the actual initiation.  So I went down in the basement to wait till they were done.\par
\tab\tab I figured as long as I was waiting I might as well meditate, so I did.  While I was meditating, I heard some music.  It sounded kind of like music by Wagner, rich and orchestral and romantic.  \par
\tab I was embarrassed.  I assumed that they were playing some music \tab on a record player upstairs as part of Susan's initiation, and it was reverberating along the pipes of the plumbing system so I was hearing it.  How hokey!\par
\tab\tab Then I suddenly found myself flying through the air, several hundred feet above a forest of pine trees.  There was no \tab transition.  One moment I was sitting in a basement meditating, and the next I was flying.  The forest was pretty, but what was really odd about the environment I was in was that it was more real than the normal one.  \par
\tab\tab Then I was back, again without transition.  Sitting meditating in a basement.\par
\tab\tab\tab Later I found out that they hadn't been playing any kind of music as part of the meditation.  Oh.\par
\tab\tab What did I learn from this?  Well, nothing really.  I think I saw a glimpse of the astral plane, the afterlife, where we all go when we die.  But maybe it was someplace else, I don't know.  \par
\tab What I learned for sure is that there's someplace else that's more real than this.\par
\par
\tab\tab Continuing with my series of What I've Learned In My Life.  The fourth out-of-body experience I had was when I was in Vietnam.  I was a heroin addict for three months while I was there.  The heroin was so cheap it was practically free, and it was 98% pure, and there wasn't a huge social stigma attached to it, so it was about the best time to be a heroin addict.\par
\tab\tab One night I got stoned, and I was lying in bed in a dreamy state, which is all you want to do when you're on heroin.  All of a sudden I found myself out of my body, with no transition.  I was flying around in the air above a forest.  The experience was like the third time I had an out-of-body experience, except that this time there were little white houses with red Spanish-tile roofs scattered among the pine trees.  After awhile, with no transition, I found myself back here.  \par
\tab\tab Anyway, after about three months on heroin, I discovered one daythat it felt really good to scratch.  Then I noticed that it was because anything less than scratching, I didn't feel at all.  \par
\tab Ohmigod!  My whole body was going numb.  Then I realized the same thing was happening emotionally.  I no longer had good days and bad days.  All my days were medium.  I was just going along at a hum.  Well, this was not for me.  So I quit.  I went through withdrawal for three days.  What was hard was that all the feelings I hadn't felt for the last few months, all came back at once.  I felt intense joy and sorrow and fear and anger, all at the same time.  But in a few days it passed, and that was that.  It was an interesting experience to take heroin for awhile.  Like most experiences in life, no one can really describe to you what it's like.   \par
\par
\tab\tab Well, my series of Things I Have Learned In My Life has pretty much run out.  Oops, that didn't take long.  So, anyway, I thought I would segue into a new series: Remarkable Experiences I Have Had In My Life.  \par
\par
\tab\tab One of my most remarkable experiences was the time I had the strongest experience of love.\par
\tab\tab In the late eighties I went to the coast one weekend with my girlfriend, Linda, to teach her to hang-glide.  We camped out, and had a lovely weekend, and late in the evening Sunday night we started home.  But we got lost on the way and had to backtrack, and it wound up being two in the morning when we got onto the right road headed home.  That particular stretch of road is famous \par
\tab for accidents, because trucks carrying loads of corn drive along there.  Drippings from the corn get onto the road and make it slippery.\par
\tab\tab I was driving, and we came around a corner.  There, sitting in the other lane, was an upside-down car.  It was a big american car, and it was sitting on its roof, with no visible damage.  It was so bizarre and out-of-place to see it that for a moment it didn't seem real.  Just beyond the car was a semi truck, parked, with it's lights shining on the car.  \par
\tab\tab I pulled over to the side of the road and parked.  "I'm a doctor," I said to Linda, "I have to stop and help."\par
\tab\tab "OK," she said, "I'll stay here in the car."\par
\tab\tab "Pray for me," I said, and got out and walked toward the car.  As I passed the truck, I asked the driver if anyone had gotten out of the car.  He said no one had, and he'd just gotten here, and he'd called the police.  It was a bizarre experience to walk toward the car with no idea of what I would find when I got there, and just continue to walk anyway.\par
\tab\tab Just as I got to the car a man crawled out of the broken window on the far side of the car.  He was somewhat younger than me, and he was wearing a jacket, and there was blood all over his head and jacket.  There was a bank of dirt by the road, and he started to climb up it.  Intuitively, I knew what he was doing.  \par
\tab He wanted to get as far away from this bad experience he was having as he could.  \par
\tab\tab I stood at the foot of the bank and talked him down off it.  I asked him if there was anyone else in the car, and he said no.  \par
\tab I knew an emergency team was on the way, and I knew what he needed.  So I put my arms around him and held him.\par
\tab\tab And then a very odd thing happened.  The two of us went to a place where there was nothing but love.  There was no time.  There was only love and peace, and the two of us floated there.\par
\tab\tab Every once in a while the man would ask me if I was all right.  I would laugh and so, "Oh, yes, I'm fine."  I didn't ask him, but I could tell he was all right, too.  \par
\tab\tab In real time it may have been fifteen or twenty minutes that we stood there.  A light rain fell on us.  It seemed forever, in that timeless place we were in.  \par
\tab\tab After awhile an ambulence showed up, with a team of paramedics. They formed a whirlpool of activity around us, but we were the calm center.  They put a neck-brace on the man, and they checked him out and found that one of his arms was broken, all without disturbing me or him.  \par
\tab\tab Then they eased him out of my embrace and down onto a stretcher.\tab As he left my arms he began to become upset.  As they wheeled him to the ambulence, I heard him tell them his name was Steve.  \par
\tab\tab I walked back to the car, beginning to shake.  I got in, and Linda held me for twenty minutes while I had my reaction and shook.  Odd in circumstances like this how one doesn't react till it's over.  Then we went on toward Portland.  I didn't feel like driving, so she drove.  \par
\tab\tab Later I was talking to a friend named Nancy Lynch about this.  She's a powerful psychic, the only genuine psychic I have ever known.  She looked at the event psychically, and said that Steve was scheduled to die, but that Kirpal Singh had intervened.  While I was holding Steve the wings of the angel \par
\tab of death had been beating on me, and that was why I'd had a strong reaction to the whole event.  \par
\par
\tab\tab Once when I was about eleven I went for a camping trip in northern Afghanistan with the Ritchies.  Joe and Mark and Danny and Dwight.  And an Afghan kid named Hashmat Sidke came with us, too.  Dwight brought along a huge tent, so big that we could all sleep in it.  We went to a place where two rivers meet, called Doab (literally "two waters").  One of the rivers was red with mud, and the other was clear and green.  The odd thing was that they didn't mix where they met.  For miles downstream the river was half one color and half the other.  \par
\tab\tab And we went to a place called Bamian.  There's an extremely odd phenomenon there.  There are five lakes, and there are a lot of minerals in the water.  The minerals deposit out at the edge of the lakes, and so the lakes have gradually risen up out of the valley bottom until they're seventy-five feet above ground level.  The walls that hold in the lakes are made out of that \par
\tab off-white mineral stuff that deposits around the edges of hot springs, and are thicker at the bottom than they are at the top.  We boys climbed up the walls, and it was easy going, though there was a sheet of water trickling down everywhere.  \par
\tab When we got to the top, it was flat and about fifteen feet wide.  When we walked to the inside edge and looked down, it was the most amazing sight.  \par
\tab\tab The water was incredibly clear, so that one could see way, way down.  And the water was full of fish.  A galaxy of fish, a moving and changing constellation.  The farther down I looked, the smaller the fish seemed.  It was like looking into the sky, and seeing the stars swimming around, constantly moving and shifting.  \par
\tab\tab On the way home, we were going across a high pass, riding in Dwight's nash Rambler, and it was very late at night.  We stopped at an Afghan tea house.  We went in, and the ceiling was so low that you couldn't stand up.  It was dark, as the only light was from a fire in the fireplace.  The place was made out of adobe and logs and sticks, and it was as though we had gone back thousands of years in time.  We all had chai in bowls.  And then we got in the car and went on.  \par
\par
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^\par
\tab To continue my series on Amazing Experiences I've Had In Life.  \par
\tab After I got out of college I was drafted.  I asked Master what to do, \par
\tab assuming He would say to go to Canada or to burn my draft card and go \par
\tab to jail.  Imagine my surprise when He said, "Go."  Well, I figured \par
\tab this must be a test of faith, so I went.  \par
\par
\tab\tab I went through basic training in North Carolina, and was put \par
\tab into the infantry.  I went through infantry training in Alabama (and \par
\tab experienced the coldest winter I've ever been through).  Then I was \par
\tab sent to Vietnam.  I flew there on a regular commercial airliner, \par
\tab complete with stewardesses.  The only odd thing was that every \par
\tab passenger was dressed in olive drab.  \par
\par
\tab\tab We landed in Bien Hoa in Vietnam.  It was hot, and there were \par
\tab people wearing conical straw hats cutting the grass by the runway \par
\tab with hand cycles.  I knew right away I was far from home.  While we \par
\tab were waiting in the terminal to be processed, I saw some guys from \par
\tab the bush, and I knew right away that this was going to be stranger \par
\tab than I could conceive of.\par
\par
\tab\tab I was taken to Long Binh, ten or fifteen miles away, and \par
\tab assigned to the Cavalry and brought back to Bien Hoa.  There I was \par
\tab put in a holding company, which consisted of quonset huts and sand \par
\tab and time passing.  \par
\par
\tab\tab One night I woke up to hear explosions.  Rockets were coming \par
\tab in.  I jumped off my bed and pulled some mattresses from nearby beds \par
\tab over me.  For a minute or so this was exciting and fun and amazing \par
\tab and even funny.  Then it suddenly occurred to me I could die, and \par
\tab suddenly it wasn't funny anymore.\par
\par
\tab\tab I was assigned to first of the seventh, which is the same unit \par
\tab that Custer lost at Bighorn.  I figured the omens were clear.  So I \par
\tab gave away my few possessions except for a $15 guitar that I figured \par
\tab I'd carry with me out in the bush, and wrote goodbye letters to all \par
\tab my friends.\par
\par
\tab\tab Two days before I was going to go out and start carrying an \par
\tab M-60 machine gun in the bush, we were doing some more of the endless \par
\tab paperwork.  And a guy said to me that he noticed I had a college \par
\tab education.  "How'd you like to be a clerk?" he asked.  I wouldn't let \par
\tab myself have the slightest bit of hope.  To hope and then lose it \par
\tab would be devastating, so I casually said, "Sure."  He sent me to see \par
\tab someone, and that guy sent me to see someone else, and that guy said, \par
\tab "OK, now I'm signing this paper, so now you're a clerk.  I'll be your \par
\tab boss, and that'll be your desk right over there."  And he told me to \par
\tab go back to my holding company.\par
\par
\tab\tab I walked out of the quonset hut and walked about fifty feet \par
\tab down the road.  Suddenly my legs stopped working.  "What?" I wondered.\par
\tab I managed to stumble off the road into a wide shallow ditch, so that \par
\tab the jeeps going by wouldn't run me down.  And then I started to laugh.\par
\tab I stood there for twenty minutes or half an hour and just laughed and \par
\tab laughed.  I discovered then that I had had to wall off whole portions \par
\tab of my mind in order to do this insane thing, and when I didn't have \par
\tab to do it, the walls fell.  And the energy came out as laughter.\par
\par
\tab\tab After that, they could have their war, but I wasn't part of it. \par
\tab I had a boring office job in the tropics, and time went by.\par
\par
\tab To continue my series about Remarkable \par
\tab Experiences I've Had In Life.  While I was in the holding company in \par
\tab Vietnam I was put on KP.  Most of the terrible jobs were done by \par
\tab Vietnamese women, but there were still some we G.I.s did.  One day I \par
\tab was sent to get ice.  I was sent with another guy who happened to be \par
\tab on KP, named Ray Bienkowski and nicknamed Beany.  We went in a two \par
\tab and a half ton truck that was driven by a guy who came with the \par
\tab truck.  We rode in the back. \par
\par
\tab\tab We went bouncing along over rutted dirt roads until we got to \par
\tab the place that had the ice.  It came in 300 pound blocks, about four \par
\tab feet long and a foot and a half thick and two and a half feet high.  \par
\tab There were six of them.  The blocks were amazing!  The water they \par
\tab were made out of was so clear that one could look deep into them.  \par
\tab Inside they were a bluish green, and tiny bubbles had been frozen in \par
\tab place, thousands of them, in swirls that looked like a galaxy.  There \par
\tab was something about these frozen miniature galaxies in these cool \par
\tab vast greenish spaces that was like being God and looking into space.  \par
\par
\tab\tab We drove back to our company area.  Beany and I rode in back \par
\tab again.  The truck bouncing over the ruts and potholes brought the \par
\tab blocks to life.  They rumbled around the back of the truck like \par
\tab ponderous implacable hippopotami, and Beany and I had to climb up on \par
\tab the side-rails to get out of the way.\par
\par
\tab\tab I'll never forget those blocks of ice.  \par
\par
\tab\tab Later on, purely through chance, Beany and I wound up in the \par
\tab same company in Phu Loi, and Beany was my best friend while I was \par
\tab there.  Life is strange.\par
\par
\tab\par
\tab To continue with my series of Remarkable \par
\tab Experiences I've Had In Life.  Once a bunch of us hippies, in the \par
\tab early years of living here in Portland, had gone out to a place \par
\tab called Pelton Dam and taken peyote.  Pelton Dam is a lovely place, \par
\tab dry, with sagebrush, but on the shores of a lake.  Beautiful almost-\par
\tab desert country.\par
\par
\tab\tab I had gone for a walk by myself up into some of the higher \par
\tab levels of the rocky walls and ledges above the lake.  I was walking \par
\tab along through dry grass, and i saw a rattlesnake about fifteen feet \par
\tab ahead of me.  It was by far the biggest rattlesnake I ever saw.  I \par
\tab couldn't see all of him (assuming he was male), as he trailed off \par
\tab into the grass.  The part I could see was about five feet long, and \par
\tab his body was as thick as my arm.  He was a pale dusty color, and the \par
\tab diamond back pattern was faint.\par
\par
\tab\tab I was amazed and delighted.  I stood for awhile looking at him, \par
\tab admiring.  Then I made a detour around him so as not to disturb him, \par
\tab and went on my way.\par
\par
\tab 7-26-98\tab\tab To continue my series on Remarkable \par
\tab Experiences I've Had In Life.  One night in the seventies I went to \par
\tab bed as usual.  I'd been worried about the future for a long time.  \par
\tab That used to be a sort of constant fear I lived with.  That night I \par
\tab had a dream, except it wasn't exactly a dream.  I was aware it was a \par
\tab dream, but it wasn't a lucid dream either.  I was aware that this \par
\tab dream was something that someone was showing to me.  I could feel \par
\tab their presence, right behind me, so to speak, but I coudln't see \par
\tab them.  And I was aware that what the dream was, was a vision of my \par
\tab future.  My personal future.\par
\par
\tab\tab When the dream was over, I woke up and got up and wrote down \par
\tab notes so that I wouldn't forget parts.  It was three in the morning, \par
\tab and the whole time I was writing down the notes there was a \par
\tab mockingbird singing in the tree right outside my window.\par
\par
\tab\tab I went back to bed, and when I got up the next day it took me \par
\tab three and a half hours to write out an account from the notes of what \par
\tab I'd seen.  \par
\par
\tab\tab It turned out to be a vision of the next thirteen years of my \par
\tab life.  The odd thing is that the vision was in dream language, in \par
\tab symbols, so consciously and overtly I didn't know any more than I had \par
\tab before.  But the anxiety about the future was gone, and as each event \par
\tab in the dream came along there was a visceral impact of recognition.  \par
\tab "Oh, this is what that was the symbol for."  \par
\par
\tab\tab For example, I was walking along between the sea and a range of \par
\tab mountains.  I looked off to the right at the slopes leading up to the \par
\tab mountains and saw a tree burst into flame.  In the dream, I said to \par
\tab myself, "It's beginning."  This turned out to be symbolic language \par
\tab for the beginning of the Gulf War.\par
\par
\tab\tab The vision was utterly accurate.  Everything unfolded for the \par
\tab next thirteen years exactly as it had predicted.\par
\par
\tab\tab The other odd thing after that was that I had lots of \par
\tab precognitive dreams, for years and years.  I still have them from \par
\tab time to time, though not as often as I used to.  Usually I dream \par
\tab about the next day that's coming, what's going to happen.\par
\par
\tab\tab This brings up an interesting question to me.  What is the \par
\tab nature of time and free will, if it can be seen years ahead of time?  \par
\par
\tab\tab\par
\par
\par
\par
\tab\tab 7-27-98\tab\tab Continuing my series on Remarkable \par
\tab Experiences I've Had In Life.  When I was a kid I was obsessed by \par
\tab death.  I always thought that this was normal, that most kids were \par
\tab preoccupied with death.  I grew up and found out it's not so.  Most \par
\tab people don't think about death till they get older.  \par
\par
\tab\tab I used to have dreams about death, or rather fear of death.  \par
\tab One of the main themes is that I would dream I was falling.  And the \par
\tab fear would wake me up before I hit bottom.  Over the years I had this \par
\tab dream many many times.  I kept getting closer and closer to the \par
\tab bottom.  And finally when i was twelve, I had the courage to go all \par
\tab the way to the bottom of the cliff and hit.  I died.  I went to \par
\tab heaven.  It was a very pretty place, like a park with lots of trees.  \par
\tab Jesus was there, and he gave me two bible verses.  I Samuel 3:4 and \par
\tab Jeremiah 18:18.  The first verse seemed obvious when I looked it up, \par
\tab but I have spent the rest of my life trying to understand why He gave \par
\tab me the second verse.\par
\par
\tab\tab After that I stopped having the falling dreams.\par
\par
\tab\par
\par
\par
\par
\tab\tab 7-30-98\tab\tab To continue my series of Remarkable \par
\tab Experiences I've Had In Life.  When I went to high school they had a \par
\tab ski jump at the school, on the side of a hill covered by pinyon trees \par
\tab above the soccer field.  Actually, they had two ski jumps, side by \par
\tab side, a big one and a little one.  At some point I learned how to ski \par
\tab well enough to think about trying the little one.  I went over there \par
\tab one afternoon with my freind George.  He encouraged me to do it.  I \par
\tab was so scared that I could barely bring myself to even think of it \par
\tab seriously.  Then George said something interesting.  "The more scared \par
\tab you are of something before you do it, the better you feel after \par
\tab you've done it."  Wow.  I climbed up to the top of the jump and put \par
\tab my skis on and pushed off.  I speeded up so much on the inrun that it \par
\tab was already scary.  I didn't even try to jump as I went off the lip.  \par
\tab I just plopped to the snow three feet below.  Then I went over the \par
\tab hump into the outrun, which felt like it was going just about \par
\tab straight down, and I speeded up till I felt like I was rocketing.  \par
\tab As I went through the transition, the centrifugal force was so great \par
\tab that it pushed me down till I was crouching on my skis.  Then I came \par
\tab flying out of the transition, and started swerving back and forth to \par
\tab slow down and stop.  When I did, I was jumping up and down and \par
\tab hollering for sheer exhileration.  George was right.\par
\par
\tab\tab After that I did a lot of ski jumping.  I worked up to the \par
\tab big jump, and the farthest I jumped was about 85 feet.  But no \par
\tab jump was as fantastic as that first one.\par
\par
\par
\par
\par
\tab\tab To continue my series of Remarkable Experiences I've Had In \par
\tab Life.  After I learned to ski jump, I used to to it a lot.  Whenever \par
\tab we had time, a bunch of us would go over to the ski jump on Saturday \par
\tab or Sunday afternoons and jump.  \par
\par
\tab\tab One day I went off the jump, giving it a good spring as I left \par
\tab the lip, and I looked down and discovered that one of my skis was \par
\tab gone.  It had fallen off.\par
\par
\tab\tab Suddenly time slowed to a crawl.  I had all the time in the \par
\tab world to liesurely consider a variety of plans as to what to do, \par
\tab think them over, compare them, discard some of them.  The decision \par
\tab was made more poignant because one of my best friends, Robert \par
\tab Ruggieri, was lying in the hospital with a broken leg.  He'd lost a \par
\tab ski while jumping a few days before, and what he'd decided to do was \par
\tab land on the one ski he had and to put down the heel of the other foot \par
\tab to kind of act as an outrigger.  This plan failed badly.  The \par
\tab outrigger foot was caught by an unevenness in the snow, and the twist \par
\tab broke the leg that was attached to the ski in a triple spiral \par
\tab fracture.\par
\par
\tab\tab So I knew not to do that.\par
\par
\tab\tab I tucked the foot without a ski up behind me, and spread my \par
\tab arms wide, and landed on one ski.  The odd thing about skiing on one \par
\tab ski is that you go a lot faster, because the friction with the snow \par
\tab is cut in half.  I went zooming down the outrun.  I shot through the \par
\tab transition, with the centrifugal force pushing me right down into a \par
\tab crouch.  And i came firing out of the transition going lickety \par
\tab split.  I was going so fast and being so careful with my balance that \par
\tab steering wasn't much of an issue.  I went zooming out of the normal \par
\tab path and off into the sagebrush.  After fifty yards or so I decided \par
\tab this was not a good idea, and I bailed out.  That is to say, I leaned \par
\tab over and went tumbling end over end.  The first thing you learn in \par
\tab skiing is how to fall, so I relaxed and waited for the maelstrom to \par
\tab stop.  It did, and I was fine.\par
\par
\tab\tab Wow.  I sat there in the snow feeling like I had escaped \par
\tab disastor by the skin of my teeth.  After that I checked my bindings \par
\tab carefully before I jumped.  \par
\par
\tab\par
\par
\par
\par
\tab\tab To continue my series of Remarkable Experiences I've Had In\par
 \tab Life.  When I was in college I took acid for the first time.  In those \par
\tab days we used to take it at night, which was odd.  It's a lot more fun \par
\tab in the daytime.  But we didn't know better.  I took it with a few \par
\tab other guys, and we stayed up all night talking and listening to music \par
\tab and going for walks.  Before dawn we went for a walk, marvelling at \par
\tab the patterns made by the streetlights in the bare tree branches.  (It \par
\tab was in the winter.)  As we were coming back to Ian's house, the sun \par
\tab came up.  There was a lot of fog, and it was gloriously beautiful.  \par
\tab But the most remarkable thing was that I was looking out over a valley \par
\tab of foggy pine trees, and floating in the air an inch above the tip of \par
\tab each pine branch was a candle flame.  It's one of the most amazing \par
\tab things I've ever seen.  I've never seen it again, but I'll never \par
\tab forget it.  \par
\par
\par
\par
\tab\tab 8-8-98\tab To continue my series of Remarkable Experiences I've \par
\tab Had In Life.  I went to Bangkok for two weeks from Vietnam on leave.  \par
\tab During a year in Vietnam one got one two-week leave and one two-week \par
\tab R&R (rest and recuperation).  I took my leave to Bangkok, and once I \par
\tab got there it occurred to me to go to India to see Kirpal Singh.  I \par
\tab wasn't supposed to leave Bangkok, but I figured that Kirpal was a \par
\tab higher authority than the army, so I sent him a cable and asked if I \par
\tab could come visit.  He sent back a cable saying, "You may please come \par
\tab stop all love Kirpal Singh."  So I went.\par
\par
\tab\tab The Bangkok airport was an ordinary international airport.  \par
\tab Buzy and crowded, people hurrying here and there with their luggage, \par
\tab a general atmosphere of anxiety.  The airport in Delhi was nearly \par
\tab empty, and the customs official flipped lazily through my passport \par
\tab and said, "Welcome to India."  The atmosphere of peace was so \par
\tab lovely, and continued the whole time I was there.  India's my \par
\tab favorite country in the world, because of that feeling.\par
\par
\tab\tab I got to the ashram in Delhi only to find that Master had gone \par
\tab up to the Dehra Dunn valley.  The last car was about to leave the \par
\tab ashram, and they made room for me.  We drove for five hours across \par
\tab northern India, up into the foothills of the Himalayas.  Master had a \par
\tab vacation house there.  \par
\par
\par
\tab\tab We got to the place where Master was building a demonstration \par
\tab farm near his house.  The taxi driver stopped, and we got out.  Master \par
\tab was standing out in the middle of a lot of activity, pointing with his \par
\tab cane, directing things.  He came over, and stuck out his hand.  I had \par
\tab my hands toghether doing namaskar, and it took me a moment to realize \par
\tab that He wanted to shake hands.  So we shook hands.\par
\par
\par
\tab\tab I stayed there for five days.  Master spent some time with us \par
\tab every morning and evening, and the rest of the time he was gone to his \par
\tab farm.  I spent the time reading and meditating and going for walks in \par
\tab the garden behind his house and in the rocky ravine behind that.  \par
\par
\par
\tab\tab My meditations didn't get one whit better.  The only change I \par
\tab could notice was that my dreams became utterly amazing.  Vivid and \par
\tab long and completely unlike any dreams I'd had before.  One night I had \par
\tab a long dream about being the son of two devas (a god and a goddess).  \par
\tab They were fifty feet tall, and I was normal size.  The palace we lived \par
\tab in was built to their size rather than mine.  I had a sister, and the \par
\tab dream was complex.\par
\par
\par
\tab\tab In another dream I flew to Pluto with some other people on a \par
\tab flying saucer for a visit.  The flying saucer was a round platform \par
\tab with pink glowing balls along the edge.  The balls generated a \par
\tab hemispherical force field over our heads.  The flight was fun, and \par
\tab pluto was beautiful from space.  It was colored black and white, in \par
\tab swirls like a marble cake.  We landed, and toured a city.  One place \par
\tab we stopped was a school.  There was a large courtyard in the center, \par
\tab with children playing.  There were life size models of adults leaning \par
\tab against trees and walls here and there around.  What they were for was \par
\tab that when a kid got mad at an adult he could go and get one of the \par
\tab models and hit it.  What really struck me was that after hitting the \par
\tab model, the kid would thank it politely before putting it back.  How \par
\tab enlightened!\par
\par
\par
\tab\tab After five days at the foot of those beautiful mountains we all \par
\tab came back to Delhi in a caravan.  The next day Master gave a satsang, \par
\tab sitting on a raised platform so everyone could see Him.  Hundreds of \par
\tab Indian people came.  The foreigners were given places up front.  There \par
\tab were no chairs.  We all sat cross-legged.  \par
\par
\par
\tab\tab Master came out before the satsang started and sat on the \par
\tab platform for a bit.  He was looking around at the people, and then he \par
\tab closed His eyes, and He was dead.  Just like that.  You can tell \par
\tab whether a body is dead or alive just by looking at it, and he was \par
\tab dead.  He was gone for perhaps thirty seconds, and then suddenly He \par
\tab was back.  He opened His eyes and looked around again.\par
\par
\par
\tab\tab The day after that I left.  Master gave me a going-away present \par
\tab of a handfull of crystallized sugar.  That was twenty seven years ago, \par
\tab and I still have a little piece of it.  I want to eat it all before I \par
\tab die.  \par
\par
\par
\tab\tab I flew back to Bangkok in time to catch my plane back to \par
\tab Vietnam.  \par
\par
\par
\par
\par
\tab\tab To continue my series of Remarkable Experiences I've Had In \par
\tab Life.  A few years ago my friend Jack Frost came back from spending 12 \par
\tab weeks in Florida.  His son Josh, age 26, had died of cancer, and Jack \par
\tab had spent the last twelve weeks of his life with him. \par
\par
\tab  \tab Jack and I got together for dinner, and then went and sat in a \par
\tab park and talked.  Jack told me the story of this experience, and he \par
\tab cried as he talked.  But the amazing and startling thing was that Jack \par
\tab didn't have any anger against God, any bitterness.  He took the whole \par
\tab thing as a learning experience.  He was sad at the loss, of course, \par
\tab but he didn't resist.  \par
\par
\tab\tab I was astonished.  Still am.  I've tried to ask him what it is \par
\tab that gives him such strength, such faith, such acceptance, but it \par
\tab isn't something he can verbalize.  It took me ten years to recover \par
\tab from my son's death, so it's a great puzzle to me how Jack could \par
\tab metabolize the whole experience in a way that left him without the \par
\tab need to recover.  \par
\par
\tab\tab 8-16-98\tab To continue my series of Remarkable Experiences \par
\tab I've Had In Life.  In the mid 80's I had a friend named Jeff.  He \par
\tab met a woman named Debbie at a bar he liked to hang out at.  She \par
\tab needed a place to stay, so he said she could sleep on his couch \par
\tab for awhile.  Men and women being men and women, the distance from \par
\tab the couch to the bed was short.  And the next thing you know, \par
\tab Debbie was pregnant.\par
\par
\tab\tab So Jeff and Debbie decided to try to make a go of it, even \par
\tab though they didn't know each other.  But, men and women being men and \par
\tab women, they split up after about four or five months.  During that \par
\tab time I had been giving Debbie massages, so it was natural for me to \par
\tab step in as the coach.  Debbie and I went to Lamaze classes together.  \par
\tab She learned how to breathe and I learned how to be supportive.  \par
\par
\par
\tab\tab When it got close to time for the birth, we rented a beeper and \par
\tab I carried it with me.  One day she beeped me, and I met her at the \par
\tab hospital.  We went to an examination room, and a doctor was checking \par
\tab her out.  The contractions slowed down and stopped.  It was a false \par
\tab alarm.  Debbie was lying face-up on the examining table, with her \par
\tab belly bare.  I was sitting by her.  Then something amazing happened.  \par
\tab Sasha, the little baby in there, turned over.  It was like watching \par
\tab someone move under a blanket.  For the time that she was moving, I \par
\tab could clearly see her body: her arms and elbows and back and legs.  I \par
\tab couldn't see her head, because that was down in Debbie's pelvis, but \par
\tab the rest of her was clearly visible.  She'd been lying on one side, \par
\tab and she turned over onto the other side.  Once she stopped moving, she \par
\tab was invisible again.  \par
\par
\par
\par
\par
\tab\tab To continue my series of Remarkable Experiences I've Had In \par
\tab Life.  One day the beeper went off, and I met Debbie at the hospital.  \par
\tab This time it wasn't a false alarm.  I was the coach, so I knelt by the \par
\tab bed and put my arms around Debbie.  She has a big pelvis, so she only \par
\tab went through four hours of hard labor.  During those four hours, when \par
\tab she would yell, "I can't do this!", I would yell back just as loud, \par
\tab "Yes you can!"  \par
\par
\par
\tab\tab When Sasha was finally born, I sat back on my heels, and I \par
\tab nearly fainted.  I had been so focused for those four hours that to \par
\tab release that focus almost made me keel over.  But I didn't.  "What's \par
\tab going on?" Debbie asked, "I don't hear her crying."  "She's just \par
\tab laying here looking around," the doctor who'd caught her said.\par
\tab The nurses quickly weighed and measured Sasha, and then they put \par
\tab her on Debbie's chest.  About ten minutes later, to my surprise, they \par
\tab handed her to me.  I had forgotten that we had requested a Laboyer \par
\tab bath.  They wheeled in a little bathtub set in a waist-high cabinet, \par
\tab and I put Sasha in the warm water.  The odd thing was that she had her \par
\tab arms and legs curled up against her body, but then over the course of \par
\tab fifteen or twenty minutes I could see her discover that she didn't \par
\tab need to keep them there.  She gradually stretched out.  \par
\par
\par
\tab\tab The amazing thing about Sasha's birth was that from the moment \par
\tab she was born she was Sasha.  The old idea that babies come into the \par
\tab world as blank slates is blown to pieces when you see a baby born.  \par
\tab Sasha's personality was all there.  Of course over the years she \par
\tab developed and amplified it, but she didn't start from scratch.  She \par
\tab was mellow and observant from the word go.\par
\par
\par
\tab\tab Being the coach at Sasha's birth was to this day one of the \par
\tab finest privileges I've had in life.  \par
\par
\tab\tab\par
\par
\tab\tab 8-19-98\tab To continue my series of Remarkable Experiences I've \par
\tab Had In Life.  When I was in Vietnam my best friend was named Beany.  \par
\tab The fellow who went with me to get ice.  The first three months I was \par
\tab in Nam I was in one company, keeping track of statistics about \par
\tab incoming helicopter pilots, and I kept messing up.  So I got \par
\tab transferred to another company, and when I got there and was assigned \par
\tab to a barracks I found myself living next door to Beany.\par
\par
\par
\tab\tab Beany was wild and untamed.  He went to meet his wife in Hawaii \par
\tab for R&R.  They had a great time, taking mescalin and partying. He told \par
\tab me about one time when he got so stoned he could see what people were \par
\tab going to say written on a banner in the air around their heads before \par
\tab they said it.   When it came time to go back, he went AWOL for two \par
\tab weeks.  Then he realized he was pushing the limit, so he turned \par
\tab himself in as a heroin addict.  Which he wasn't.  They put him in a \par
\tab ward which was so loose that the doctors walked around smoking \par
\tab marijuana, and he could leave every night and spend more time partying \par
\tab with his wife.  \par
\par
\par
\tab\tab Eventually they sent him back to Vietnam.  When he got there he \par
\tab was on his way back to us when he ran into a guy he'd known back in \par
\tab "the world."  They got to partying, and two weeks went by.\par
\par
\par
\tab\tab We heard rumors in Phu Loi that Beany had been seen in Phuoc \par
\tab Vinh, so I suggested to my captain that I go up there and see if I \par
\tab could find him.  He said OK, and off I went.  I hitched up there, and \par
\tab walked around.  I never did find Beany.  A few weeks later the MP's \par
\tab caught him and brought him back to us in handcuffs.  It happened to be \par
\tab on Beany's birthday, and we had a party for him.\par
\par
\par
\tab\tab What I did find, walking around in Phuoc Vinh, was that there \par
\tab were a bunch of infantry companies stationed there as their home base.  \par
\tab I stopped with one of them to have lunch.  In the army yhou can stop \par
\tab anywhere and eat.  You just sign your name.  The company was just back \par
\tab from the bush.  \par
\par
\par
\tab\tab They were amazing.  Their clothes were the color of dirt.  \par
\tab Their packs were the same color.  They all had long hair, and they \par
\tab moved in a way I'd never seen people move before: efficient and \par
\tab weary.  I wanted to talk with these guys, but they never spoke.  \par
\tab During the hour I was there I didn't hear anyone say a word.  They \par
\tab were such a team that there was no need to speak, and they were \par
\tab used to the jungle where speaking was dangerous.  It was like being \par
\tab with a pack of wild animals.  They were so far outside the normal \par
\tab run of humanity that they were a mystery to me.  I've never \par
\tab forgotten that silent strange meal and those silent strange guys.\par
\par
\par
\tab\par
\par
\par
\par
\par
\tab\tab To continue my series on Remarkable Experiences I've Had In \par
\tab Life.  My favorite New Years was the one I had in Vietnam.  I had gone \par
\tab to bed early.  About ten minutes to midnight Beany came and woke me \par
\tab up.  He made me get up and get dressed, and we went and stood at the \par
\tab door at one end of the hootch.  \par
\par
\par
\tab\tab At the stroke of midnight, out across the flat country as far \par
\tab as we could see in every direction, flares went up.  White curving \par
\tab pillars of fire curved up into the sky.  It was a marvelous sight.\par
\par
\tab\tab And as marvelous to me was that no one had organized this.  \par
\tab Without anyone saying anything to anyone else, the same idea came into \par
\tab so many minds at once that the entire landscape was lit up.  How \par
\tab amazing!  How beautiful!\par
\par
\par
\tab\par
\par
\par
\par
\par
\tab\tab 8-24-98  To continue my series of Remarkable Experiences In \par
\tab Life.  In 1984 I met a woman named Sheila at a nude beach.  She was \par
\tab six month's pregnant, and her round belly was prettier than a \par
\tab watermelon.  We fell in love, and agreed that I would be the father \par
\tab for her child.  The last three months of her pregnancy were idyllic.  \par
\tab We had a lovely time.\par
\par
\par
\tab\tab Then one night her water broke.  I had already been through \par
\tab Sasha's birth, so I thought I had some idea of what was coming.  Boy, \par
\tab was I wrong.  Jubal's birth took fifty six hours.  I've never seen \par
\tab anyone go through something more grueling than that.  Sheila's \par
\tab supporters were basically her friend Kathy, the midwife and me, and we \par
\tab had to take shifts.  Twice I had to go home and sleep awhile to get my \par
\tab strength back.\par
\tab\tab When Jubal was finally born it was lovely.  The midwife put a \par
\tab little blue hat on his head and put him on Sheila's chest.  He was so \par
\tab cute.  So was she.  Then the midwife needed to deal with the \par
\tab afterbirth and stitching up a tear in Sheila's cervix, so they gave \par
\tab Jubal to me.  For half an hour or so I carried him around, singing to \par
\tab him.  It was during that time that I bonded with him.  What an amazing \par
\tab experience!  I had no idea the parent-child bond was so strong!  The \par
\tab odd thing was that I found myself singing in a minor key.  \par
\par
\tab\tab The next day the midwife came around to check up on Jubal, and \par
\tab she thought she heard something odd in his heartbeat.  So she had me \par
\tab take Jubal to a doctor.  The doctor listened to Jubal's heart, and had \par
\tab me take him straight to the OHSU hospital up on the hill.  He called \par
\tab ahead and they knew I was coming, and when I walked in they were \par
\tab waiting for me.  Paperwork came later.  \par
\par
\par
\tab\tab They checked out Jubal and found out what was wrong with him.  \par
\tab He had what's called Situs Inversus.  The embryo forms from three \par
\tab layers.  The innermost layer forms the gut and the bottom half of the \par
\tab heart.  The middle layer forms the skeletal system and the top half of \par
\tab the heart.  Jubal's innermost layer was a mirror image of normal, so \par
\tab that his liver was on the other side and the bottom half of his heart \par
\tab didn't match the top half.  The doctors thought he'd make it anyway, \par
\tab though they'd have to remodel his heart.\par
\par
\par
\tab\tab They did the first operation, and then we got to bring Jubal \par
\tab home from the hospital.  We had him for a week.  What I remember most \par
\tab clearly is sunbathing with him on a blanket out in the back yard.  He \par
\tab liked the sun, though he didn't like to open his eyes when it was \par
\tab bright.\par
\par
\par
\tab\tab After a week he got sick, and we took him back to the hospital.\par
\tab He spent the next five weeks in intensive care, plugged into by tubes \par
\tab and wires.  Sheila and I got up every morning and went up to the \par
\tab hospital and spent the day there with him.  We were pretty cheerful \par
\tab during this time, because right up until the end it looked like he was \par
\tab going to make it.\par
\par
\par
\tab\tab One day I was with Jubal by myself, with one hand on his chest \par
\tab and one hand on one leg.  Suddenly I noticed that his heart monitor \par
\tab wasn't ticking along like a clock.  It was slowing down like a clock \par
\tab someone's forgotten to wind.  It stopped.  Suddenly there was a \par
\tab whirlwind of activity around me.  Nurses from the other room had seen \par
\tab what was happening on the remote, and were there to do something about \par
\tab it.  No one touched me or suggested I get out of the way.  It was like \par
\tab being the eye of a hurricane.  \par
\par
\par
\tab\tab But before they got anything done, his heart started again on \par
\tab its own.  The heart monitor went quicker and quicker till he was back \par
\tab up till normal rhythm.  That was the second time in my life I saw \par
\tab someone die and then come back.  I was shaken.\par
\par
\par
\tab\tab For five weeks Jubal was OK.  Then his heart got too big, and \par
\tab the doctors had to do an operation that they were hoping to put off \par
\tab till he was about two.  He lived for about ten minutes after the \par
\tab operation.  The hospital called Sheila and me early in the morning and \par
\tab said he was dead.  We were in shock.\par
\par
\par
\tab\tab We went to the coast for the day, to spend some time at the \par
\tab ocean.  I'll never forget how Sheila looked that day, tender and \par
\tab vulnerable and like a victim of a disaster. \par
\par
\par
\tab\tab Later we had a funeral and buried his ashes under an apple \par
\tab tree.\tab That tree is big now.  \par
\par
\par
\tab  \tab The bill for all this was $101,000.  The federal government \par
\tab stepped in and paid $60,000 of it.  The state stepped in and paid \par
\tab $32,000 of it.  The last $9,000 were bills from the surgeons and \par
\tab doctors, and they forgave the bills.  We were left owing not a penny.  \par
\tab I had expected to be paying the hospital bill the rest of my life.  \par
\tab That was one of the few times in my life I've thought government was a \par
\tab good thing.  \par
\par
\par
\tab\tab Sheila and I were in shock for the first couple months.  Our \par
\tab relationship lasted two more years, which was unusual.  Usually the \par
\tab death of a child destroys the relationship a lot quicker than that.  \par
\par
\par
\tab\tab It took me ten years to recover from Jubal's death.  For the \par
\tab first few years I couldn't talk about him without crying.  Now I look \par
\tab back and am glad I knew him.  He passed through my life quickly, but \par
\tab he taught me more than almost anyone else.  So I'm glad it all \par
\tab happened.  He enriched my life wonderfully.\par
\par
\par
\tab\par
\par
\par
\par
\par
\par
\tab\tab To continue my series of Remarkable Experiences I've Had In \par
\tab Life.  In 1972 Kirpal Singh came on tour to America.  One of the \par
\tab places he stopped was an ashram in Canada.  Sandy and I and some other \par
\tab people from here went up there to see him.  It was a beautiful place \par
\tab in the rain forest.  Lovely.  We camped out, and stayed for days.  \par
\tab\tab Toward the end of his visit there, Kirpal gave a little talk \par
\tab one day outside.  Someone had set up a platform for him to sit on, \par
\tab about three feet high, so that people could see him.  Not much of \par
\tab the land had been cleared, so the platform was set up in the middle \par
\tab of a road through the woods.  The audience was of necessity long and \par
\tab thin, as the only place for them to be was on the road in front of \par
\tab him.  \par
\tab\tab After the talk, it was the custom for Kirpal to pass out some \par
\tab kind of food as gifts to the listeners.  It's called "prashad."  \par
\tab Someone brought some crates of oranges to him to be the prashad, and \par
\tab he started passing them out.  At first he just handed them to the \par
\tab people sitting before him at the edge of the platform.  Then he \par
\tab started tossing them to the people a little farther back.  And he kept \par
\tab throwing them to people farther and farther back until he was throwing \par
\tab them like orange baseballs, zinging them way down the road to people \par
\tab way back there.\par
\par
\tab\tab I'll never forget that sight.  Kirpal was wearing a white \par
\tab turban, and his beard was white.  His coat was black.  The forest \par
\tab surrounding us all was a thousand shades of green, and the sunlight \par
\tab had that wonderful luminous quality that comes out in nature when the \par
\tab afternoon is waning into evening.  What a picture!  Zing!\par
\par
\par
\par
\par
\tab\tab 8-30-98\tab To continue my series of Remarkable Experiences \par
\tab I've Had In Life.  When Mom was a girl in high school she rode a \par
\tab horse\tab named Imp to school.  Imp was black in color and a cunning \par
\tab rascal, and\tab used to try to throw Mom into a pool of blue mud that \par
\tab was on the way.\par
\par
\tab\tab One winter we were over at the ranch, and my uncles decided to\par
 \tab go hunting for a wildcat.  They'd seen the tracks over the last few\par
 \tab days.  I wanted to go along, so they said I could come up till the\par
 \tab point where they found the tracks.  Then they were going to be riding\par
 \tab fullspeed across the sagebrush, and it'd be too dangerous for me.  So\par
 \tab I rode along on Imp till the hounds struck the trail, and then off\par
 \tab they went.  I turned Imp back towards the barn, and suddenly Imp was\par
 \tab going fullspeed, too.  She'd been loafing along till now, but she had\par
 \tab a colt in the barn, and she wasn't loafing anymore.  I tried to stop\par
 \tab her or turn her, and she ignored me.  She was going at a dead run\par
 \tab across the fields.  I looked ahead and saw that we were coming to a\par
 \tab closed gate, the big wooden one next between the house and the chicken\par
 \tab house.  I could tell that Imp wasn't slowing down, and I could just\par
 \tab see her planting all four feet and skidding to a halt and me going\par
 \tab over her head into the gate.  So, I decided it was time to bail out.\par
  \tab So I did.  I leaned to one side and fell off.  I hit the ground and\par
 \tab rolled.  I sat up, and looked, and sure enough, Imp planted all four\par
 \tab feet and skidded to a halt in front of the gate.  It was a good thing\par
 \tab I'd bailed out.  \par
\par
\par
\tab\tab Later on, we were living at Archer and we had Imp there.  Mom\par
 \tab used to take us kids on sled rides in the winter, towing us behind Imp\par
 \tab at the end of a rope.  I loved that, and Mom seemed so dashing and\par
 \tab strong, galloping Imp through the snow.\par
\par
\par
\tab\tab During the summer, one of my chores was to ride Imp up to the\par
 \tab mailbox, perhaps half a mile from the house.  I was riding her up\par
 \tab there one day, loping across the field.  I noticed that the reins\par
 \tab weren't quite even, and so I was messing with them.  Imp could feel\par
 \tab that my attention was diverted, and in the middle of a stride she\par
 \tab flipped end for end.  I was so surprised to find myself suddenly\par
 \tab sailing through the air that it wasn't till I hit the ground that I \par
\tab realized what had happened.  I sat on the ground, and looked back to\par
 \tab see that Imp was already a hundred yards away, headed back to the\par
 \tab barn.  What a tricky horse.  \par
\par
\par
\tab\tab I walked the rest of the way up to get the mail, and back.\par
  \tab Walking was always considerably less adventurous than riding Imp.\par
\tab  And often a better idea.\par
\par
\par
\tab\tab\par
\par
\par
\tab\tab To continue my series of Remarkable Experiences I've Had In\par
 \tab Life.  One night in, it must have been about 1974, I got off work from\par
 \tab my job as a banquet waiter at Ramada Inn.  I went over to visit Tamim\par
 \tab at the place he lived, and we wound up staying up all night smoking \par
\tab pot, talking and doing art.  \par
\par
\tab\tab The next morning I went out and got in my VW bug and started the\par
 \tab motor.  As I was sitting there waiting for the motor to warm up, I\par
 \tab noticed that I could hear music, wonderful symphonic music coming from\par
 \tab somewhere, even though I didn't have the radio on.  I turned off the\par
 \tab motor to see if I was somehow hearing it in the motor sounds, but the\par
 \tab music continiued.  So I turned on the motor and drove off toward home.\par
\tab\tab I was driving down the freeway, and the music was so lovely!  I\par
 \tab was so absorbed in the music that my mind stopped.  I was no longer\par
 \tab thinking.  I was just experiencing.  I saw the freeway bridges over\par
 \tab the road, and they were wonderful soaring sculptures of unknown\par
 \tab function.  I didn't know anything, but I still drove perfectly well.\par
  \tab I was so happy I began to cry.  \par
\par
\tab\tab Before I got home the music had faded away, and I've never heard\par
 \tab it again.  That was it.  A one-time experience.  Too bad.  \par
\par
\tab\par
\tab\tab To continue my series of Remarkable Experiences I've Had In \par
\tab Life.  When I was in high school we went for a 3-week-long camping \par
\tab trip every spring down into the desert of Utah.  One of the places \par
\tab we often went was a place in Needles Country.  It was called that \par
\tab because there were a lot of standing needles of rock.  The place we\par
\tab actually camped had a gigantic mushroom-shaped  rock in the middle, \par
\tab probably fifty feet across and thirty feet high.  From there we went\par
\tab on hikes out into the surroundings.  One of the places we went that \par
\tab I remember was called Elephant Hill.\par
\par
\tab\tab This was true rock desert.  And it was hot.  I rigged a hanky\par
\tab to hang from the back of my hat like a French Foreign Legion \par
\tab soldier.  Everybody laughed at me because while they walked along \par
\tab the trail I'd go motoring past them to the next shade, and then wait\par
\tab there while they went past me.  Then I'd pass them again.  Let em \par
\tab laugh.  Who's sitting in the shade?\par
\par
\tab\tab Parts of the desert had amazing piles of rocks, each rock \par
\tab larger than a house.  One could climb among them like in a giant's \par
\tab jungle gym.  The truly amazing thing was that we kept finding pools \par
\tab of water way down at the bottoms of these piles.  The pools were \par
\tab deep and still.  We took off our shoes and socks and went swimming, \par
\tab and it was a fabulous, archetypal experience.  Lovely!\par
\par
\par
\tab\tab To continue my series of Remarkable Experiences I've Had In \par
\tab Life.  When we were camping out in Needles Country in Utah when I \par
\tab was in high school, we went off for walks along a small river.  We \par
\tab discovered that we could pick any spot and start climbing up, and \par
\tab we'd come to cliff dwellings.  We'd been told not to take anything \par
\tab from cliff dwellings or disturb anything, so we didn't.  but it was\par
\tab amazing to find these places way up above the valley floor where \par
\tab people had lived.\par
\par
\tab\tab Tiny rooms were made out of rock and adobe plaster.  Sometimes\par
\tab we found large logs that had somehow been hoisted way up there, and \par
\tab we could see the marks from the stone axes on them.  In the rooms \par
\tab we found wooden spoons and straw.  Quite far away from the \par
\tab dwellings we found small storage rooms with corn on the floors.\par
\par
\tab\tab It was eerie and marvelous.  People once lived here, in a \par
\tab whole different way than we do.  And it brought up odd questions.  \par
\tab Why did they live up here rather than down there where it would be \par
\tab a lot more convenient?  Were they getting away from other people, \par
\tab mean ones?  If so, why were the granaries distant from the dwellings\par
\tab and out where they couldn't be protected?  Were they getting away \par
\tab from predatory animals?  What was going on here?\par
\par
9-12-98\tab To continue my series of Remarkable Experiences I've \par
\tab Had In Life.  Once in the seventies I was doing a therapy session \par
\tab with a woman therapist named Harriet Douthitt.  She was an amazing \par
\tab therapist.  I was lying on a massage table, and she was doing some \par
\tab bodywork on me, when I spontaeously had some memories from last \par
\tab life float up to the surface.\par
\par
\tab\tab Last life I was a woman living in India, and I had a number \par
\tab of stillborn children.  As the memory floated up I found myself \par
\tab reliving being a woman and giving birth.  It was an amazing feeling.\par
\tab Then I relived discovering that the newborn child was dead.  Next I \par
\tab relived burying the child under a tree near a village.  I remember \par
\tab what the tree looked like, and the village in the distance, and the \par
\tab sky.  My husband was with me, and it was-- guess who-- Tamim.  Or \par
\tab that is to say, in this life he's named Tamim.  \par
\par
\tab\tab This whole experience took quite a while, and was emotionally \par
\tab draining.  Once it was over and I was getting grounded again, \par
\tab Harriet asked me why that all happened, and I had an image of myself\par
\tab hearing a golden helmet and swinging a sword in the middle of a \par
\tab battle.  It wasn't that I fought and killed people, but that I \par
\tab enjoyed killing people.  So I had to learn that anyone is the \par
\tab beloved child of some mother.  Hard lesson.  \par
\par
\tab\tab Last life, the dying children were so traumatic to me that I \par
\tab wound up leaving my husband.  I spent the last half of that life \par
\tab wandering around on pilgrimage, going to holy places and doing \par
\tab yoga.  It was fun.\par
\par
\tab\tab Incidently, I think that's why Tamim wound up throwing me out \par
\tab of his life in this life.  He's still mad about me leaving him in \par
\tab the last one.  \par
\par
\par
\par
\tab 10-17-98   \tab To continue with my Remarkable Experiences I've Had In \par
\tab Life series.  When I was in high school I used to go to Gramma's \par
\tab ranch for vacatioins.  In the winter I would borrow some skates \par
\tab from the front porch and walk down to the Little Snake River and \par
\tab go skating.  My uncles educated me about safety: when there are \par
\tab holes in the ice it's OK to go near them on the upriver side, but \par
\tab stay away from the downriver side.  \par
\par
\tab\tab The time I remember the most, I went down to the river, and \par
\tab there was about four inches of snow on the ice.  I put on my \par
\tab skates, and for hours I skated along the white surface.  The snow \par
\tab came up over the noses of my skate-shoes, so that my feet \par
\tab disappeared.  And the snow gave the skating a soft feeling that was \par
\tab lovely.  The sky was white, and the cottonwood trees along the bank \par
\tab were a silvery grey.  About the only color was from the red willows \par
\tab at the edge of the ice, and from a little dog named Tiny who was \par
\tab running along with me.  \par
\par
\tab\tab It was one of those special and lovely times that lingers \par
\tab in memory like music.\par
\par
\tab 10-26-98   \tab To continue my series of Remarkable Experiences I've \par
\tab Had In Life:  When I was five I went with Mom and Dad, Karen and \par
\tab Sandy, and Uncle Allan and Aunt Claudia to Afghanistan.  There's \par
\tab a picture of us in the Denver AIrport in 1953.  The part I remember \par
\tab is the flight over the ocean.  We flew on a plane that had velvet \par
\tab walls, and laughing stewardesses.  It had a spiral staircase about \par
\tab halfway from front to back, and it went down into a salon.  In the \par
\tab belly was a magical room.  It was oval, and it had circular windows \par
\tab ringing the entire room.  Built into the curving wall was a maroon \par
\tab velvet couch.  \par
\par
\tab\tab My goodness!  I was five years old, and I needed no further \par
\tab convincing about the magical possibilities of life.  At night bunks \par
\tab came down from the bulkheads, like in a train, and we kids got to \par
\tab sleep in them.   When we landed and took off in those days, they \par
\tab asked kids if they wanted to come up and sit in the cockpit in a \par
\tab chair behind and above the captain.  And you got to wear headphones, \par
\tab listen to the tower talk, and watch over his shoulder as the plane \par
\tab rushed down the runway and leaped into the air.  I fell in love \par
\tab with flying then, and I've loved it all my life.  \par
\par
\par
11-14-98     \tab TO continue my Series of Remarkable Experiences \par
\tab I've Had In Life.  In the late eighties I went up to Canada for a \par
\tab week-long yoga retreat.  It was neat.  It was out in the \par
\tab rainforest, so one could go for walks through ancient trees and \par
\tab look for mushrooms.  A huge tent, like a circus tent, was set up \par
\tab to meditate in.  \par
\par
\tab\tab And across the way was a tiny airport with a sign that said, \par
\tab "Ultralight rides."  Well, I went over there, and I paid my money, \par
\tab and a guy took me up in an ultralight.  It was a beautiful \par
\tab airplane.  It had two lawnmower engines, one on the leading edge \par
\tab of the right and left wings.  Two seats were suspended out in the \par
\tab open under the wing by aluminum tubes.  It actually had wheels.  \par
\tab It looked like something out of a 1930's National Geographic.\par
\par
\tab\tab It flew like a dream.  We went up in the air, and we flew \par
\tab around above the pastureland and the forest.  From the air I could \par
\tab see the circus tent, and the seals lounging on the shore of the \par
\tab nearby bay.  It was wonderful!  The pilot let me take over the \par
\tab controls a bit.  Straight and level was enough for this boy.  \par
\tab\tab All too soon we landed.  But I was hooked.  Flying had \par
\tab finally become something that was within my reach to do.  I'd been \par
\tab reading about it in National Geographics all my life.\par
\tab\tab So when I got home from the yoga retreat I tried out the \par
\tab forms of flying that are available to me.\par
\par
\tab\tab I went out to an airport near here, and I got another \par
\tab ultralight ride.  It was spectacular.  The pilot was doing 60 \par
\tab degree banks, and stalls.  When it came time to land he threw the \par
\tab plane into a tight downward spiral, and snapped out just in time \par
\tab to land on the pasture surface.  I think he was trying to find out \par
\tab it I was into this, and I think I passed cuz I was yelling with \par
\tab delight.\par
\par
\tab\tab I also tried out gliding in metal gliders.  I like it, except \par
\tab that one isn't out in the air.  It's like flying in a VW bug.  But \par
\tab I like the quiet.\par
\par
\tab\tab So I settle on hang gliding, which is quiet and cheap.  \par
\tab Relatively.  You know the saying that a boat is a hole in the \par
\tab water into which you pour money.  Flying eats money like that too.  \par
\tab It's one of the great loves.  \par
\par
\tab 11-15-98     \tab To continue my Series:  I found someone to teach \par
\tab me to hang-glide, a guy named Rick.  He took me down to a place on \par
\tab the coast called Cape Kiwanda, and showed me on the sand how to \par
\tab set up a single-surface glider.  He showed me how to get in the \par
\tab harness and how to hook in.  \par
\par
\tab\tab Then the reason we were at the coast became apparent: the \par
\tab steady fifteen MPH wind popped the fifty-pound glider up to the \par
\tab end of the harness.  Suddenly it was weightless above me.  \par
\par
\tab\tab That was phase one, standing in the breeze and grabbing onto \par
\tab the control bar and learning to steer the glider around like a \par
\tab steerable kite.\par
\par
\tab\tab Phase two was walking along  the beach into the wind.\par
\par
\tab\tab Phase three was running and taking little hops.  Fun.\par
\par
\tab\tab Then we started backing up the face of the dune and starting \par
\tab little flights like little sparrows.  Over the course of a few \par
\tab weekends me and the several other students worked out way higher \par
\tab and higher up the dune till we were taking off from the top.  It \par
\tab was cool.  The scenery was great, and flying was exhilarating.  I \par
\tab got up to the height of a telephone pole above the ground.\par
\par
\tab\tab And I discovered a nice thing: if you stall in the air, the \par
\tab single-surface glider turns into a parachute.  Not only that, a \par
\tab steerable parachute.  And you come in quite gently.  \par
\par
\tab\tab A childhood dream come true.  Who would have thought\par
\par
\par
\par
\tab\tab To continue my series of Remarkable Experiences I've Had In \par
\tab Life.  Long before I felt comfortable with flying my glider off the \par
\tab top of the dune at Cape Kiwanda, my instructor took me and some \par
\tab fellow students to a place called Dog Mountain.  Dog Mountain is \par
\tab a mountain in Washington, near St. Helens.  It looks like a gumdrop \tab fifteen hundred feet high, and it sits next to a lake.  Because \par
\tab it;s shaped like a gumdrop winds can come from almost any \par
\tab direction and it's flyable.  \par
\par
\tab\tab I took off for the first time from Dog Mountain and found \par
\tab myself a thousand feet in the air.  It was great!  At that height \par
\tab a car is a colored oblong, and I can't tell which end is the front.  \par
\tab Oddly enough, hang gliding isn't scary when you're up high.  It's \par
\tab scary when you're near the ground.  I headed for the landing field, \par
\tab literally a field of uncut grass.  I landed without standing up, so \par
\tab I just landed in the soft grass on my belly.  What a feeling!  \par
\par
\tab\tab My longest flight off Dog Mountain was about 45 minutes, \par
\tab flying back and forth in the ridge lift.  The highest I got above \par
\tab the ground was about a thousand feet.\par
\par
\tab\tab I crashed twice.  It comes with the territory.  The first \par
\tab time I was caught in turbeluence and went into the trees.  The \par
\tab trees happened to be deciduous, and I came gently to a stop.  I \par
\tab tore my pants, and I tore one wing of the glider.  But the tricky \par
\tab thing was getting the glider down out of the treetops.  Later I \par
\tab sewed up the tear in the wing with a special stitch.\par
\par
\tab\tab The second time I crashed was the first time I flew off Dog \par
\tab with my new double surface glider.  It was so agile it was hard to \par
\tab handle, and so I decided to do the safe thing and get on the ground.\par
\tab I spiraled down and headed in for a landing on the beach between the \par
\tab mountain and the lake.  A gust of wind caught me, and the next thing \par
\tab I knew I was headed straight out to deep water.  I decided this was \par
\tab not a good thing, and so I got turned and headed back toward the \par
\tab beach.  I didn't make it all the way.\par
\tab\tab When the lowest point of the glider touched the water, the \par
\tab glider nosedived into the water, and so did I.  It was like diving \par
\tab into a swimming pool, except I was wearing a bunch of stuff.  Some \par
\tab people on the beach waded out and helped get my glider to the \par
\tab shore.  The first thing I did after that was sit down on the \par
\tab ground for awhile.  \par
\par
\par
\par
\tab 11-26-98  \tab To continue my Series of Remarkable Things That Have \par
\tab Happened In My Life:  My favorite Christmas dinner happened when \par
\tab I was eleven or twelve.  We, the family, were driving down to India \par
\tab in our VW pickup, and we stopped along the way at an orphanage in \par
\tab Pakistan.  It happened to be Christmas, and we joined them for \par
\tab dinner.  \par
\par
\tab\tab Dinner took place in the courtyard of the orphanage, a bare \par
\tab space surrounded by adobe walls, full of kids.  The kids were \par
\tab dressed as you'd expect Pakistani kids to be, and were mostly \par
\tab younger than I was.  \par
\par
\tab\tab Dinner was three colors of rice.  White, saffron and brown.  \par
\tab They didn't taste any different.  \par
\par
\tab\tab I don't know why, but something about that memory lingers \par
\tab in my mind like an image from a powerful dream.  \par
}