{\rtf1\ansi\ansicpg1252\deff0\deflang1033{\fonttbl{\f0\fswiss\fprq2\fcharset0 Arial;}} {\colortbl ;\red0\green0\blue0;} \viewkind4\uc1\pard\qc\cf1\b\f0\fs44 Friendliness Skills\b0\fs28\par \pard\par \tab People need \b human contact. \b0 Babies die if they're not touched. But \b friendliness\b0 is a learned skill. When I was young, my father was so mean that people avoided him. He was the kind of guy whose jokes always had a sharp poke to them, under the surface. I watched him go from that, over the course of his life, to a man so relaxed and easy-going that he can talk with anyone and make them feel accepted and interesting.\par \par \b\fs36\tab (1)\b0 I practice:\fs28 \b nurturing skills, communication skills, assertiveness, self defense\b0 and \b negotiation. In addition:\fs36\par \b0\par \b\tab (2) I listen when someone talks.\fs28 \b0 I don't interrupt. I let them finish before I comment. "Me, too," isn't a friendly response. Paraphrasing is. I ask questions, and draw them out. I'm interested in their story, without bringing my own story and feelings into it. I appreciate them. I care about their story and feelings and opinions. \par \par \b\fs36\tab (3) \b0 \b I find common ground.\b0 \fs28 I explore to find things we have in common, and enjoy and appreciate these.\par \par \b\fs36\tab (4) I'm playful.\b0\fs32 \fs28 I enjoy our time together. I have fun with this person. We laugh together. Life is funny, so there's always something to laugh at.\par \par \b\fs36\tab (5) I initiate spending time together.\b0 \fs28 I don't keep track of who initiates more.\par \par \b\fs36\tab (6) I'm open and available, vulnerable, self-revealing. \b0\fs28 When it's my turn to talk, I talk about what's real and important to me, rather than what's on the surface. I model the kind of interaction I want to have. If this winds up making me look like a fool, I laugh at myself. Aren't we all fools some of the time?\par }