Answers for Pop Quiz
(1) My rights are to be happy, safe, autonomous, to express and defend myself, and to change and grow. In short, to have high self worth. Bill of Rights
(2) The self worth skills are self care, self introspection and self change. Self Worth Skills
(3) In overwhelm I should remember to eat every four hours, get the best sleep I can, and get support. Self Care Skills
(4) The friendliness skills are nurturing, communicating, assertiveness, self defense and negotiation. Friendliness Skills
(5) The most important nurturing skill is touch. That's why holding is rejuvenating. Nurturing Skills
(6) The basic communication skills are: listening, paraphrasing, questioning and summarizing. Communication Skills
(7) Assertiveness is refraining from blaming, contempt, sarcasm and threats. It's also being polite and direct, complaining, asking for what I want and saying no to what I don't, standing up to abuse, and negotiating. Assertiveness Skills
(8 The direct self defense skills are: recognizing abuse, stopping it, labeling it, and asking for behavior change. And taking time outs when needed. Self Defense Skills
(9) The indirect self defense skills are pretending to go along, noticing the abuser's weaknesses, public denouncement and protecting yourself by knowing the abuser's weakness. Self Defense Skills
(10) Abuse is anything that feels demeaning, disrespectful, rude, scary, hostile, uncaring, sarcastic, critical, blaming, threatening, contemptuous or judgemental. Any show of anger in another person's presence is abuse. Moodiness, sulking, venting, and accusing are abuse. Crazy making behavior is abuse. Self Defense Skills
(11) Melodrama is devoting one's life to drama. People who are afraid of real feelings fill their lives with melodrama instead. Most melodramas are based on betrayal, and can be recognized by the moment of surprise, the switch. The most classic melodrama goes like this: Persecutor attacks the Victim, Rescuer comes in to save the Victim, and the Persecutor and Victim join together and attack the Rescuer, who feels confused and betrayed. But there are many melodramas. A good collection is Games People Play, by Eric Berne. Self Defense Skills
(12) The most important warrior skill is to defend myself from attack without hurting the attacker. WarriorSkills
(13) The warrior skills being used in the story The Open Window are all by the niece. She's detached to the point of ruthlessness, she lies shamelessly and fakes emotion, and she's inventive and patient till the time is right. She's a fluid warrior. Click here...
(14) The ones which aren't used where they should be are by Framton. He's fragile and delicate, a walking victim. He doesn't have any self defense or warrior skills. He doesn't speak up when he feels confused, he isn't on the alert to be deceived, he tries to distract and avoid, he's self centered and self pitying. All of which makes him the legitimate prey of predators and warriors.
(15) In The Unicorn in the Garden the man shows the warrior qualities of innocence and vulnerability, as well as cunning and shameless deception. The woman shows the qualities of ruthlessness and cunning, but without patience and sweetness, and the lack makes her vulnerable. Click here...
(16) The anger skills are: not showing anger in front of other people, taking a time out, finding out what you're angry about, and coming back to negotiate. Anger Skills
(17) The most important principle of fighting fair is ending the fight in such a way that your opponent walks away with their dignity. Fighting Fair
(18) The most important principle of negotiation is that everyone should get all of what they want, win-win. Negotiation Skills
(19) The most important relationship skill is complaining. Relationship Skills
(20) The most important sex skill for women is having orgasms, and for men it's delaying orgasm. Sex Skills
(21) The only love skill is to love. One thing that means is taking attack as wounds rather than insults. Love Skills 2
(22) The fastest way through grief is feeling your feelings. The only way out is through. Grieving Skills
(23) The point of resilience is to enjoy this marvelous life. Resilience Skills
(24) The goal of acceptance is to accept all of life as it is. Acceptance Skills
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