The great Rumi once said that an encounter with bliss will change your life.
Oh my goodness!
One of the biggest events of my life sneaked up on me so quietly that I didn't exactly even notice it had happened. About 3 months ago I started being able to go into bliss at will. I've wanted to be able to do that for a long time, and at age 59 I finally found out how. Boy, that took awhile.... Boy, that was worth the wait....
Just to give a little history, I had 4 or 5 out-of-body experiences when I was in my early twenties. Some of them involved being in a state of bliss, and of course a taste of bliss made me hungry for more. It does that. So I took up yoga, and I did a brand of meditation for 35 years, and I got nothing. So finally I gave up.
Then, late in 2005 a woman named Jacke loaned me a book about the connection between sex and spirituality for women. It's called Aphrodite's Daughter. Many women find that sex leads to having orgasms, which lead to longer orgasms, which lead to continuous orgasms and thus into: orgasmic trance. And then this is fun: many women find they can just lay down and relax and go into ecstatic trance at will. "It's my soaking-in-God time," one woman said.
Now I know why she called it that.... Oh my....
In February, 2006, I took what I learned from the book and what I knew about self hypnosis, and some advice from Maharishi Mahesh Yogi in the sixties to "Go toward pleasure," and I lay down on my bed to do some continuous breath. And I used counting down to go into trance and then I jsut kept going deeper till I went into bliss. The first time I stayed maybe half an hour. After that, when I was tired, I'd sometimes spend two or three hours in bliss.
The first things I discovered are that going into trance and into bliss is something I let happen rather than make happen, and that it's incredibly rejuvenative. Yum....
The first mention of bliss or trance in my letters is this one:
"2-23-06, Thursday: A client I haven't seen in almost 3 months came in. She's the woman who goes into ecstatic trance at will. The nice thing is that between her and a friend named Jacke and a book called Aphrodite's Daughter, they taught me how to do it too. When I get really tired anymore, I lay down on my bed and do continuous breath awhile, and then let myself slip into trance. I count down from 100 to deepen the trance till I go into bliss, and then I count up from 1. It's extremely refreshing and rejuvenating to do."
As the days went by, I continued to go into trance when I was tired, and be dramatically refreshed. I discovered it was robust: I could do it anytime.
I've discovered I can go into bliss even when I'm scared and upset, and even when I've just eaten. Unlike meditation, soft music in the background seems to help. I've discovered that on the way out of bliss I sometimes find amazing ideas in my mind. I've discovered it's wise to leave 10 or 20 minutes as time to surface if I've been in bliss more than an hour or two. I've discovered the more I need it, the easier it is to go into trance and bliss. And I've discovered I sometimes spontaneously float back to the mundane when I've had enough.
I've discovered that bliss is lots better than sex. Or any sex I've ever had, anyway, even sex with a woman who could do continuous orgasm for 45 minutes. I've also discovered that I'm not a prisoner here. I can die whenever I want to, whenever things get too bad.
Sometimes I feel my face relaxing in layers.
I've discovered that sneezing in bliss is marvelous.
I wonder what else I'll find by exploring? I wonder if I could go from bliss into lucid dreaming? Wouldn't that be cool.... I wonder if I could die this way, go up into bliss and keep going?
A few days ago I wrote a poem while I was in bliss. "Falling into bliss is like a leaf falling from a tree.... and swooping, swooping.... only the swooping is upward."
5-18-06, Thursday: I go into bliss and count up to 100 or so. In the 80s a wonderful body relaxation happens. I have lunch and go back into bliss, to see if it can be done. Past 120 I'm seeing rings of purple and yellow light coming at me, and I'm completely calm and stable, but I have to get up and have a session.
It's starting to occur to me that this changes my life. For one thing, how much do I need a girlfriend when I can lay down and go into continuous orgasm without her?
If I did have a girlfriend, what would sex be like if we were both in bliss at the time?
And for another, this could impact my lifestyle. Wouldn't the sensible way to live be to get my day's work done as fast as I can and spend the maximum amount of time in bliss? Duh....
5-19-06, Friday: I go over to the grocery store and get some flowers and food. I get some chores done, and then I lay down on my bed and go into bliss. I'm up there past 200, and my body and mind are kind of disappearing and reforming when there's a knock on the door. I know who it is. It's my neighbor. In the state of bliss I can see our relationship so clearly that I realize he's been abusing me ever since I met him, and I haven't been defending myself. He keeps talking me into loaning him $5, promising to pay it back, and never does. The irony is that if he asked for the money I'd give it to him. But being tricked out of it isn't acceptable to me. I'll have to fix this when I come down.
Later I go leave a note on his door asking him to communicate by note rather than knocking. That will fix part of it. This guy, by the way, is dying of Hep C, and I feel a lot of sympathy for him. But I can still say no to abuse.
This thing of being able to go into bliss at will is so odd. I'm still sort of dazzled by it. Later in the evening I talk to my friend Liza, and she says she's been able to do it all her life. O my goodness. Lucky her. I wasted 59 years....
Well, no, that was 59 years of preparation that led to being able to do it now.
Of course what I want to do is explore it. I should have started a journal the first time I went into bliss. Now that's a month ago or so....
I'm starting to see why guys would go off into the desert and become hermits....
Or maybe it's a matter of the two wings of a bird....
5-21-06, Sunday: I've discovered that, in a way, going into bliss is going home. So, in a way, this is the answer to the question, "What's the way home?" But in a bigger sense, it's not. The home I found out about in my twenties is another place, not just another state of being. Still, for now, this is marvelous, and such a relief....
I talk to Mom and Dad on the phone. Mom tells me about beautiful colors and patterns she sees when she lays down at night to go to sleep. If she's not seeing them, she can get them to happen. Wow....
I finish my chores, and go into bliss. I spend a couple hours there, and see how high I can get. Might as well explore, you know.... I go into trance and into bliss, and up past 200. Then the power in my body is so intense that I turn over like a rocket reaching it's apogee. I've had as much as I can hold. It takes 20 minutes to get to where I can walk and function again. And there's the afterglow....
I stop for dinner, and go back into bliss. I don't try to go as high as I can. I go up till I'm saturated, and then float there. One way this is different from meditation is that I can be in bliss and think.
Eventually, I go to sleep, still in bliss. Turns out, it's as easy as going to sleep when I'm not in bliss. I wake up about 3 hours later, and the bliss is gone. I go back to sleep.
To say that this is weird is a big fat understatement.... But it's so wonderful....
5-22-06, Monday: I go into bliss so quick that I only say my sentence three or four times before bliss starts. Then I count up to four, and by then it's so intense I stop and float. Once I float, I can think, but I can do that anytime. So mostly I feel. Anyplace tight in my body I focus the bliss till it lets go.
The second time I go into bliss, it's a little hard to relax, and I discover I've overstressed my neck and shoulders with typing. Boy, I'm grateful now for Kirpal's teaching about "little, little things."
I take a hot shower, and the third time it's easy again. I go to sleep in bliss.
5-23-06, Tuesday: I wake up at 2:00 in the morning, and lay awake a couple hours feeling angry at all the people who've hurt me in life. I see that I'm going to have to forgive them. I think spending time in bliss is making me more sensitive to my own feelings. Oops. Then I can't afford to be carrying around anger anymore.
My day is so busy I don't get to go into bliss till 9:00 at night. I soak awhile, and go on into sleep. I wake up at 2:00 in the morning feeling good, and go back to sleep.
5-?-06,Sunday: I've been so busy working the last few days that I haven't had time to go into bliss. I wake up in the morning and go into bliss awhile before I get up.
In the evening I go into bliss and then into sleep.
5-29-06, Monday: I have twenty minutes before breakfast, so I go into bliss for 15.
I'm getting to where I don't need the sentence and counting anymore to go in. It's the oddest thing. It's as though my body had learned how to do it. Now I just go down into trance till the bliss starts, and then up till it's so intense I want no more. It takes maybe thirty seconds.
In the evening I have a 3-hour session with an upset couple. When I go to bed, I'm stressed enough it takes 4 or 5 tries before I can slip into bliss. And from there I slip into sleep. Poor souls....
5-30-6, Tuesday: It's getting so that going into bliss takes 5 or 10 seconds, and is hardly a two-stage process sometimes. Bliss seems to fill up my body starting with my feet. A light tingly sensation fills me like water pouring into a pitcher, and when it gets to my head, there's the bliss.
5-31-6, Wednesday: Whenever I have time during the day, I spend it in bliss. In the afternoon it's very deep somehow.
In the evening, when I go to bed, I can't go into bliss, or even into trance really. This is the second time this has happened. I think it's cuz I'm tired and need sleep. So I go to sleep. It feels odd to go into sleep from regular consciousness rather than from bliss....
6-1-06, Thursday: After breakfast I slip into bliss. Oddly enough, movement doesn't disturb bliss. Sometimes I stretch and yawn and writhe around.
I still hardly believe this. Every time I head into bliss, it's sort of an act of faith. Then it opens....
In the afternoon I go into bliss, so fast that I close my eyes and take a breath and squirt into bliss.
During the bliss there's a deep healing. It's as though a cloying film of illness is pealed out of my body. Suddenly my body is light and clear and healthy. Lovely!
After an hour or so, I've had enough. I've been catching up on a lifetime of bliss deficit for months now, I think, and spending as much time as I could in bliss was the thing. Now I actually can get enough and be filled. At first it seemed like being a hermit would be the thing, to spend as much time in bliss as possible. Now I find, more like the two wings of the bird....
6-2-06, Friday: Going into bliss feels subjectively like going down into trance, forward into bliss, and then up till the bliss is too intense to go higher.
In looking for things to do in bliss, I've found: thinking, feeling, progressive relaxation, repeating a mantra, inner looking, inner listening, and sinking down deep. I can stay at the surface of bliss, where it's light and airy, or I can sink way down deep into it. The deeper I go, the heavier and sleepier and more syrupy it gets, and the more healing. When I need physical rejuvenation, that's the place to go.
In the afternoon I have that experience again of reaching enough.
6-5-06, Monday: I haven't been able to go into bliss cuz I've been scared about a dangerous client. When I'd try to go into trance, I couldn't stop swallowing. Today the danger passed, and I lay down to breathe awhile, and went into bliss on an outbreath. I went deep to get some physical healing, and I reached that wonderful place of enough.
I experienced dhyan for one of the first times in my life. I settled into the interior looking, and it became as calm as a pond. I didn't see anything remarkable, but it wasn't seeing anything that was important, it was the settling that felt good.
Oddly, it was only after I reached enough that a strange phenomon happened. Strength flowed into my body in little parcels like jelly bellies, packing into place and filling my body with physical reinvigoration. Wow.... Thanks. I needed that....
This whole bliss thing is truly one of the most amazing things that's ever happened to me, and I wish I could give it to everyone. It seems so easy now, and I wonder if I could have been doing it when I was a child, if someone had shown me how. I know people who have been doing this since they were kids. Or was it a matter of developing receptivity and calmness of mind to a sufficient level? I don't know.
The only thing it seems to require is the ability to think one thing at a time, to not be distractible. Perhaps it also requires not carrying a lot of anger? I don't know. Some people seem to develop this ability involuntarily, and then to sometimes have bliss, and sometimes a dark night of the soul experience. So having a lot of anger didn't seem to stop them. There's so much I don't know about this new realm. It's very beautful, what I've seen of it. I haven't had any dark-nights-of-the-soul experiences.
Things I've found that can make it hard or impossible to go into trance are tiredness, anger and fear. Makes it kind of important to keep balanced, huh?